Huge Update

So in the last few months quite a bit has happened :-)...Marty has celebrated many 1st's!

He has celebrated his first Thanksgiving!

He played Baby Jesus in the Church Christmas Eve Service

He celebrated his Christmas!

He tried blueberries for the first time ( I know previous post said he liked blueberries he actually liked strawberries at that time.

He has learned how to sit up on his own

and how to roll over from front to back and back to front!

(Tummy time is way better now!)

On the same day he learned how to sit up by himself, and roll over from his back to his belly he also cut his first tooth...this kid cant just hit one milestone at a time he has to hit multiple ones lol

He is so funny....he coo's and babble's, and if mama is eating he wants whatever food I have...even if he just finished eating 5 min before hand...he wants my food...

He coughs or says abu for my mom...but the rest haven't received their calling cards yet lol

He smacks his lips to get someones attention or to call the dogs over :-)

Dan has really stepped up his game with helping out around here and with Marty and I doubt he has any clue to how much it means to me! If Im trying to get Marty's stuff ready to get out the door, he'll change his diaper and do anything else to make my life easier.

I also think I know what was causing the low sex drive, and migraines, and a whole list of other side effects....Depo....The Depo shot is finally wearing off and I'm on Mireana now, and Ive been having less migranes, and even if my sex drive still isn't where it was, its getting better... definitely should have gone and been switched over sooner....

Dan is still trying to lose weight for the Marine's, and I think at the very least he may join the reserves and be a weekend warrior....which is fine by me....I want him to see Marty as much as possible!

The apt is slowly getting back into working order....I dont know if its the hope of Spring coming early, or if Im finally fully recovered from giving birth, but Im starting to feel lots better 7 months later, and having the energy to get stuff done around here!

Well I believe my little munchkin man may be awake....so lets see whats good for play time!

Life

As much as I love being a Mama, I miss having a life that didnt consist of changing diapers, cleaning up spit up and dealing with tears and not being able to figure out whats going on.....Then again....I do love the fact that as long as I am calm....Marty usually settles right down for me...and if he's sleepy he cuddles right in and goes to sleep. I love his gummy grins, and his squeals (that my mama, thought was hilarious to teach him...and as soon as he's able to understand the word no....or stop...we are getting rid of the high pitch squeals), and when he learns how to do something new....in the last week he has learned how to roll himself over from his belly to his back....reach out for a toy and push it around, and hold his bottle....we're still working on from his back to his belly....but he'll get there! He's also tolerating tummy time even more now that he's learned how to roll over and reach for toys!

That being said....I miss having a sex drive, I miss having time with my friends sans Marty (even though I have horrible separation anxiety), I miss wanting to put an effort into how I look....and I totally miss not being a size 18 which is almost impossible to find and looking for flattering jeans in the plus size section was horrible plus I wanted actual jeans....something that if Dan has to dump the bike, and Im with him will help protect my legs....not shred into a thousand pieces along with my skin. I miss feeling pretty. I dont want to just be Marty's Mama...though I love that title....I'm bored....I want to have more to talk about then my childs loose bowels, and how his diaper rash looks horrible.... I want to get out of the house.

I want to do something just for me....I feel like I give and I give and I give....and I'm drained. I don't feel like I have anything else to give....I don't even feel like I know who I am anymore besides Marty's Mama. I want Marty and my future kids to see me as more as their mother, as someone who has a life outside of taking care of them....My mom tried to that, but I think in the end she put us first so much she lost herself and now that we're both out of the house she doesnt know what to do....and I don't want that...I love my mom very much, and she did the best she could. But I dunno...I want more for myself, as selfish as that may sound....so I have more to talk about with my friends and husband than my child though he's very interesting...it does get old pretty fast...once the newness wears off....

b leh

So Dan wants to go into the marines....I dont want him too....Im trying to be supportive....but him trying to lose weight is being put before our son and myself....and honestly...I wouldn't even care if it weren't for Marty....When Marty gets older what is he going to remember more and what is going to mean more to him....that his daddy went into the military so his family could have benefits...or that his daddy spent time with him...and was there for all the major events in his life? My dad worked hard....but he always made sure he made time for Shannon and I. I feel like Dan's not doing that for Marty....I feel like losing this weight and going into the marines is way more important to him than, spending time bonding with his son. I understand he wants to be able to provide better for Marty and I....but honestly....struggling to get by from week to week, is way better than not having him around at all.

Marty's Story - Baby Photo Book

Marty's Story - Baby Photo Book

Check it out!!!

Alot has been going on....

So alot has been going recently....

Martys 4 months old...

Things Marty can do...

* He smiles

* He "talks"

* He screams and then when you come running grins up a storm because you came to pay attention to him

* He "stands"

* He will lift his head off of the floor durin

g tummy time (still not a huge fan of the tummy time)

* He bats at toys

* He will reach for a grasp for toys when he wants too

* He "walks" when he so choose's to do so

* He is attempting to sit un-supported though it is quite cute when he topples over

Marty eating one of his favorite Foods....Squash!

I love his gummy grin!

Marty has started solids!

Some of his favorites are:

* Mashed Potatoes

* Apple Sauce

* blue berries

* Green beans

* Squash

Now we've tried rice cereal and we are not a fan....so the next grocery store run Ill be picking up oatmeal, and another type of cereal, we've also tried sweat potatoes, and though Marty likes them as of right now the do not like Marty.

Marty adores both set of grandparents, and hi

s uncle and aunts!

Marty was not a fan of Halloween...Though he was adorable as a giraffe he did not like being dressed up one bit!

Save Me Please!

Grandpa I dont like this anymore!!!!

Much Better, I think Ill settle down and watch some TV!

I am so blessed to be Marty's Momma! He's such an awesome baby!

In other news....I found out someone who use to be a friend of mine, is dating an ex of mine....I know a few of my readers are also friends with this person and your going to have your own feelings about this situation, but Im going to share my opinion and would appreciate it if I weren't judged nor caught any shit for it. I could give a damn less that my ex is moving on....good for him. I hope he's happy. But as for this woman, who he is dating, I'm not surprised that they ended up together....her reaction to my pregnancy and marriage definitely make more sense now, considering she was typically the kind waited for an explanation or confronted you if she had a problem....confront me she did...give me a chance to say my piece she did not. I vented about her reaction in a previous blog, I still think she was a bit unreasonable and some of the flack I caught for my venting (especially considering I was still coming to terms myself with the marriage and pregnancy, and I was extremely hormonal which was also stated as a forewarning, I think a little bit of leeway should have been given and understanding instead of being jumped on for not being the worlds greatest friend/girlfriend). That being said, I still can't believe that this woman, after watching the abuse I went through, would date him....it boggles my mind. Granted, I had a lot of issues I was dealing with, and yes...at the END of our relationship, I did cheat, after I figured out HE had to of been CHEATING. I'm not perfect, but that did not excuse his behavior towards me. That did not and still does not excuse, the verbal and emotional abuse he decided to dole out. Why she would think he would or will treat her any differently is beyond me. He has severe mommy issues. She will hurt him somehow, unintentionally, and that will trigger the abuse cycle to begin...oh and he'll apologize and say he loves her, and she'll fall for it. This woman, has lots of potential and deserves so much more than what she will get with him. Because at the end of our relationship he had been cheating for quite some time...and I was oblivious to it, and he will cheat on her and she will get hurt. Right now I'm struggling with how I think I'll react when he does hurt her. I know as a Christian, I am suppose to be there for her to lean on if she does reach out to me. But on the other side, this woman, has hurt me before, and I don't trust her. She made promises to me before, and she broke them. Just as I wasn't a good friend at times to her, she really wasn't a good friend to me when I need her the most. So I guess we'll see when the time comes what will happen.....

Dan and I are doing wonderfully though! His uncle is giving him and old '84 honda motorcycle! It is an awesome bike! My butt fits on it! I love it and cant wait for a nice day for dan and I to go for a ride!

Well that was one heck of a post....

Must try to make this a habit! Marty naps and Momma blogs!

Oct 1st,

So this month for NaBloPo, the them is Play....so I think Im going to try to snap a picture everyday of Marty playing.....

But today I have a video of Marty Playing that I am going to try to share!

SO...

I was pretty frustrated till I talked to my friend Kayhla and realized my husband isnt the only one in the world you have to nag to get things done...or doesnt see things that need to be done...or expects me to work, fix dinner, take care of the baby, and take care of the home....but wants my mom to watch the baby on his day off so he can sleep....oh and Im able to do most of that stuff while Im sick...the only one I didnt do was work because I was pretty miserable and having difficulty breathing the night before... I feel like Kay says it best:

its amzing how their minds work

i dont get it. they want you to be a 2010 working mom, but a 1950's housewife at the same time

just frustrated....because we've been going to this marriage seminar and I feel like all its done is given him permission not to help out unless he's asked to....its like he tuned out the part that said...hey you help out without being asked your more likely to get some....if you take some of the weight off your wife's shoulders, shes less drained and more likely to put out! Not a hard concept...especially if you wanna get lucky...Im more willing to put out if I dont have to nag you to do shit around the apt....seems pretty easy to get....but I guess its not...Ok maybe Im still pretty pissed....but I feel alittle better now...