So I have been....

Rather grumpy lately....poor Dan has caught the brunt of it. I have no idea why....some of it could be chalked up to pms and my period. So I dunno. My trust issues reared its ugly head again today.....why is that girls or people in general mistrust people who have done nothing to be mistrusted based off of previous behavior of others? Do not get me wrong....I do trust Dan....I am head over heals in love with him and him with me....but because of the past behavior of people who did not care about me I am overly cautious when it is not necessary. In other news I need to get my butt over to see my godson so I can get more pics of the most adorable little boy ever! I dunno Im ramabling....going to find something to drink....then read some more and go to sleep if my sister can be convinced to go to bed! Goodnight!

Wordless Wednesday

Shannon's First Motorcycle Ride....Courtsey of Dan :-D

She Survived!!!!!!!

Introducing......

Baby Joey!!!!!

He was born Easter Sunday, April 12, 2009

@ 5:54 pm,

7lbs 5.3 oz, 20 1/2 inches!

I was super excited to hold my godson for the first time!

Cutest little face!!!!
He is absolutely perfect and mommy, daddy, and baby are all well!

In other news, I have never been this happy in my life! This time last year there is no way I could have fathomed being this happy! Dan is wonderful! I love him and am very in love with him! My parents like him, even my little sister is starting to warm up to him. For easter he surprised me with my own Easter basket and in one of the eggs was an Opal necklace, that looks like an Easter Egg! I was very surprised! Sometimes, I feel like I am living a dream.....one I do not want to wake up from! Other times, I do not want to fall asleep out of fear I am in a dream and when I wake up it will all be gone. He gets me in a way no one else does....he makes me laugh, and smile, and get out of my comfort zone. I trust him completely....which is very scarey, but I have faith that he will do everything in his power not to break that trust. Ok I need to shower! Ill post more soon!!!!

Dear....

Bobby,

Once again I want to apologize for how things ended between us. But we both knew it was coming to an end. Neither of us had been happy for a long while. I find it hard to believe that you say you may never find anyone who made you feel the way I did. In the very beginning you showed me how you felt, and let me know how happy I made you, but the last two years all you did was tell me how you did not care. What was I suppose to do? For 2 years, I tried and gave my all....for what? To be pushed away, to be told I was not good enough? For 3 years I tried to please you, tried to make you happy....all the while, making myself miserable. I gave up my family and their respect for YOU! For what? To be placed last in line on your list of priorities? To have to defend myself against YOUR friends, when they disrespected me? I tried for 4 years, to change, to become a better person not only for myself, but for you, for what? To be told I needed to try harder and that the progress I have made was not worth anything, nor measurable in your eyes?

How can you question if I ever loved you? If I did not love you would I have stayed after you kissed that girl while in CA, even after you tried to hide it from me? Would I have pushed my family away for you? Would I have put up living in a hellish living situation with roommates who pushed my buttons every chance they got, without having you backing me up and asking them to layoff? Would I have put up with you allowing your parents to smoke in "OUR" house during the holidays, even knowing I would end up sick within days? The answer to all of these questions is no. If I did not love you I would have left....I would not have put up with being treated as crappily as I allowed you to treat me. I should have left you the moment I found that text msg that you sent to that girl in CA say "Ive waited so long to kiss your lips". But no, instead of leaving, I made myself extremely ill over the fact that I may have done something to push you into kissing her, or that you may not love me the way that I loved you. I should have had the respect for myself to say, even though I love him I refuse to be treated this way.

I understand that financial you cared for me for 3 years, but I am sorry that was not enough. I needed emotional care, and understanding, something that I felt was lacking in our relationship. I felt whenever I tried to reach out to you, I was pushed away and deemed as being too needy. I now realize that I was not being too needy and that what I was asking for from you was not unreasonable. It was not unreasonable to ask for someone to spend a little bit of time connecting with me everyday...especially if I live with them. It is not unreasonable to ask to be treated with respect, and to expect your family to be respectful towards me. It was not unreasonable to expect to be included in decisions regarding events being held in "our" home, especially if this even includes allowing your parents to smoke in the house, even though I had repeatedly expressed that I would appreciate it if they were not allowed to smoke in the house, especially since I get sinus infections and/or ear infections whenever I am around cigerrate smoke. Plus I did not want my stuff smelling like that. It is one thing if we are exposed to it in thier home....but they should have been expected to respect me and my wishes and have refrained from smoking while over.

I will always care about you and love you. I want to thank you for throwing me out though. Now I have the opportunity to be in a respectful, loving, and emotional relationship which is what I am capable of having and deserve to have.

Sincerely,
Cassie

Yesterday....

was a draining day! I moved the rest of my stuff out of Bobbys house with the help of Dan! Bobby behaved himself and stayed up stairs, and Dan made sure I did not go up there to go off on Bobby when he did not answer me when I had yelled a question up to him. I took everything but my desk because my desk would have been too much of a hassle to get up to my room. So now I am on the look out for a desk that can easily be moved up to my room as well as dressers that will fit up there too...and maybe another book case :-D. Everyone has been saying how much happier I have been.....and I have to credit that to Dan....he always knows how to make me smile and laugh....even if I am being grumpy like I have today ( Im sorry Dan!) Aimee comes home in 11 days! I am super excited! So I think Thursday and Friday will be spent painting and doing laundry that way I can get up into my room....I may also look into getting a desk and some dressers that I can put together up there...walmart.com and ikea.com here I come! Ok Im gonna internet shop for a bit....see ya later!

I have decided

That having money and being let out of class early is a bad thing for me. I bought my parents easter gifts, A baby shower gift, my cousin's son's birthday gift, and my godson a welcome to the world gift....oh plus twlight the book for me (I gave in....damn). I spent way to much money....but it was soooo worth it lol. I guess some updates are necessary though....

First off this saterday will be 3 weeks since I was kicked out of Bobbys house. 3 weeks since Dan and I had our first offical date, and we've offically been together for 1 week and 3 days :-D!

I realized the other day how well I have handled everything....I mean alot happened the weekend I was kicked out! First I had scrambled to finish my portfolio with help :-). Then I was kicked out, had to wash my clothes to turn around and pack for my trip to Texas...i dunno....I dont know how I didnt flip out....I cried on the saterday I was kicked out and that was it.

Dan has been fantastic though...he's such a sweet guy! I have a hard time believing I deserve such a wonderful guy....I am doing my best to not even start taking him for granted. My heart dances when Im with him....and that is how it is suppose to be....not like a soft tap dance but like full out celebration dancing :-). He makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world to him...and I hope I make him feel the same way because he is to me :-)...

Ok...I still need to post some texas pics but Ill do that at a later time....class now!

Wow!

Tonight was amazing :-D.....I know things are moving really fast, and that freaks me out alittle bit, but I have complete and total trust in Dan. All I can say is wow :-D...and Im not sharing anything else about that ;-).


In other news, Shannon and I had a great talk tonight....it was difficult but it was great! I understand somethings I didnt before. Anyway, I just wanted to share.....Im going to sleep now because it is 3am and I can barely keep my eyes open.

Night!