Hello blogging world.....

This week started Vacation Bible School! I am in a fourth and fifth grade class! So far it is fun! Unfortunately, I have a staph infection on my left arm....I believe that I have gotten most of the puss out over the weekend, and as of today started antibiotics. Therefore, I have been grumpy and tired the last 4 or 5 days. Once again, Dan has caught the brunt of my mood swings (pms does not help either), he just takes it in stride though and gives me a hug, and asks what he can do to make me feel better or to help. I think I have healed faster because of Dan, when I am not feeling well and Im achy I like being held...it makes me feel better...and I think it took a whole lot longer for puss to come out of my face than it did my arm....and I believe that Dan holding me and cuddling me has made the difference. I do not see how I deserve him....most of the time I feel like I am a very rotten girlfriend....I feel like he could do so much better than me. My moods bounce around like a super ball at times (some or most of that is due to my depression, and either needing to be on another medication or my dosage is not right...something isnt working though), I have problems with communicating verbally with how I feel, what I want, or like; I have trouble with self motivating (another problem thanks to depression), etc. With my mood, in certian situations I can put on a smile and act like everything is alright, but when its just Dan and I, I let him see whats really going on, which I guess shows that I trust him, but at the same time Im afraid that if Im grumpy, tired, and miserable alot he's going to leave me because even if I tell him its not him (which 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999-999% it is not him he makes me extremely happy!), he is going to think it is him anyway. I know he says he wont ever leave and I believe that he means it now, but Ive heard that before...and I believed it before...so I dunno....Im going to swtich clothes to the drier and head off to bed! Good night!