Friday, March 20, 2009

In Texas....

Right now....Emma is sleeping in her high chair and Crystal is talking to her aunt I believe and I am here alone....wrestling with emotions. I feel bad about how I handle things with Bobby. Yes, he was an asshole. Yes, he stopped making an effort the last 6 months to a year. But that didnt give me the right to go and mess around with someone else. Granted according to Bobbys definition of cheating....I never cheated but....whos counting. I jump between he just was looking for a reason to kick me out and at that time it probably wouldnt of mattered what I had done he would have gotten rid of me to I really hurt him and maybe he did care he just was too pig headed to show it. Some days I feel guilty and others I am happy. It feels like I moved out of his house months ago not almost a week ago. I havent really cried much and to be fair I am much happier now.

Dan is awesome though. I am trying to take things slow, so we dont screw up. But he just makes me want to fall and trust that he will catch me....though I have this huge fear of hitting the ground and getting hurt.

Im going to get going....gotta get ready to go out!

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