Frustrated

All I wanted was a simple wedding....am I getting that....nope! I got harassed into wearing a dress, and my little sister, decides she's going to do whatever she wants and tells dan's mom to go ahead and make flowers for me....even after I had said....I dont want flowers! Im not mad at Dan's mom....I beyond pissed at my sister. If they cant respect my wishes now....what is going to happen when the baby is here! Ive decided my sister will get supervised visits with my sister only. She will not babysit, she will not be left alone with my child for a moment, she will get to sit across the room and look at her niece or nephew but not interact with him or her at all.....because I obviously can not trust her to respect my wishes on something that isnt life altering how can I expect her to respect my wishes with my child. Im going to find something to snack on and kick my sister out of the living room so I can sleep. 1 more day of living here, and im home free!

I am beyond....

annoyed, pissed, you name it anger wise Im there....my father pretty much told me Im a fuck up and a failure, and my sister has every right to point it out every chance she gets....GREAT! F'ing GREAT! I know I screwed up and now dan and I are making the best of it....

As for not telling people about being preggo...or moving up the wedding date....forgive me....theres a shit load of crap going on and the ones who I talk to the most and have texted with recently have been the ones to find out first....Im sorry if anyones feelings got hurt I wasnt trying to slight anyone. But there is only so much I can do as one person, I try my best to stay in contact with everyone. Sometimes a wrong phone number gets used, sometimes I get tired of making an effort and being shut down or ignored, no matter how busy I am I try to reply to texts or emails. Im sorry if I expect the same and when it doesnt happen, and I try again and again I give up after awhile. Relationships change, and you stay in closer contact with some then you do others. That is life!

Need to....

Bitch.....Hormones are in full swing so here it goes....

I forgot to tell one of my friends Im preggo....and getting married....this is a friend I barely talk to anymore....and someone who always has sided with Bobby on everything.....

and her feelings are hurt! Im sorry maybe its just the hormones, but I mean really....I hardly talk to you anymore. The only time i talk to you is on facebook.....I found out who you were dating through facebook....and dont get me wrong Im happy for you, but it is insane that you would believe my lying, cheating ex over someone you claim to be your best friend.... so yes, I guess we really are just facebook/myspace friends....

In other news....parents took the whole preggo thing better then to be expected but not as well as Dans parents did....and yes we're getting married before my sister leaves for 13 months. So sorry blogging world life has been hectic, and ive been exhausted and sick....sinus infections while preggo sucks big time!

Ok Im gonna lay down for alittle while....just had to get that out!

So ya know...

That test I referred too that we were hoping it came back negative....well we did the test tonight and it was positive....

Dan though saying he is excited is probably scared shitless.....

and I am terrified.......

Did it twice and both came back positive well before the 3 min. time limit......

Oh and if your friends with me on facebook or myspace and your reading this please do not post anything on either of those sites just yet..... we're waiting till after the holiday's to officially break the news...

Dan and I are actually more scared to tell my parents, then to be in the position we're in. Def. need to set up a drs. appt. just to be sure though and to get started on care.....goodbye caffinee....and chocolate and every other yummy thing that comes out for the holiday's.....need to check if I can be weened off my happy meds or if I have to quit cold turkey.....

So much to think about, so much to do.....Im still in shock....though I keep telling myself...hey at least you got through college first, and at least your engaged....that's more then what most people from Dundalk can say.....though I know my parents will not feel the same way....

how do we tell them? how would you want to know?

Even just within the few hours of knowing, I know I already love this little being.....

I just dont want to screw up......

I got

part of my results for Praxis II the multiple choice section I passed still waiting to hear about the written part!

Hello blogging world

I am still alive.....I just have been uber busy.....babysitting.....long term subbing in a high school family studies class.....lets just say if I could handle them I can handle just about anything!

Sometime this week I get my scores for Praxis II lets pray I pass.....

Theres another test I may need to take....but we're hoping that one comes back with a negative score on it.

and thats about it for now.....Im tired as crap....oh long term subbing for high school is over for now....hopefully Ill get another long term postition in an elementary school! Alrighty....I must go now. Cya!