tired.....

Of being alone......since the last major fight Bobby and I had things really havent been the same. Ive been trying to give him his space.....but I feel like all I ever do is give him his space. We dont go out just us, we dont spend alone time together. Sometimes I wonder if Im the only one invested, truly invested in making us work.....and if thats the case, I tired of it. Im so worn out from the fighting, and the effort, and everything.....I just want to quit. I want to find a hole and crawl into it, and wake up when some solution has been reached where I didnt have to put an effort into figuring it out. I want someone who is going to dote on me...and not find fault with everything I do, who is going to look for the good in me. Im my biggest critic, I dont need anyone else pointing out my flaws.Seriously, inorder to completely loosen up and have fun and be me, I had to get completely trashed last night, which is fine because its a rariety for that to occur.....but at the same time its not alright. I want to be cherished, and valued for me depression, attitude, moodiness, etc. The good with the bad. Not one of us taking off over night because we're so angry. I dunno, maybe Im still hungover, or for that matter still drunk....see this is why I dont typically drink because the next day I feel depressed all day and everything gets too me.....pms doesnt help either....but Im just tired of all of it....Im tired of being jerked around, Im tired of being used, Im tired of the double standards, Im tired! Just plain tired......Alrighty I am done ranting and raving.....tomorrow is my 24th birthday hopefully its a good day :-)