Funny how quickly life can change.....

Bobby and I had this HUGE fight last night......which pretty much came down to him saying that he felt it would be best if I left. The main problem he has is that I dont take initative....Ive always had problems self starting, even when I was a kid. This isnt news.....Somehow, I managed to talk him into doing a break for the week he's away we wont talk. On top of that, I need to find some way to get back to the doctors so I can have my medicine for depression/anixety changed. Granted it levels me out but I still need something to help me self start. I just have no desire to do anything.....school stuff gets done because it has to not only for a grade but because I can not let those kids down. But stuff around the house requires me feeling like doing it.....which is next to never unless I have a reason to do it. So as childish as it sounds I created a chart. With the things that Bobby said he'd like to see done more often. I am going to do two of the 4 things he suggested each day than on a seperate calendar I am marking with a sticker or smilie face where I self started without a problem....at the end of the week I will get a reward and then for a month Ill get a bigger reward. All I can do is pray that he will change his mind about breaking up. I feel like Im in the middle of some big weird, nightmare.....execpt I cant wake up. I love him more than life. I would do anything for him. I want him to be happy and more than likely its selfish, but I want him to be happy with me. So here is hoping that all of this will work together.....and he will change his mind. For a positive, though I did point out we have the ability to make each other laugh when we dont want to, and that even if we're mad at each other for most of the day there is usually one part of the day where we are still happy with each other.So i dunno...life has gotta get better because i have no idea if i can take anymore.....