My first semi-adult short story....

So for my "How to Write Fiction"class I had to write a short story only using action.....so here it is....right now I am pretty confident with it....though there is plenty of time for me to change my mind. I am going to share it and comments are welcome!

P.S. Hi Dawn! Miss you deary!

Caitlyn slowly opened the storm door and stepped out onto the deck. She looked out at the waves crashing into the white sand. The sun peaked out from behind a cloud and warmed her skin. She took a deep breath of the salty, sandy air and strolled out on to the beach, to the edge to the water. The water tickled Caitlyn’s toes sending a chill up her back. Taking another deep breath she ran into the water and dove in. Making even strokes with her arms, Caitlyn swam parallel to the shore, occasionally diving under to smooth her long brown hair out of her face. Her muscles began to tire and she headed back towards shore. As she walked out of the water, Caitlyn wrung out her hair and pulled her hair up into a messy bun. She walked across the hot smooth sand back to her house.

Once back at the house Caitlyn quickly showered and dressed, running late to meet her friends at their usual spot. She let her hair air dry and applied a small amount of makeup. She grabbed her cell phone and purse then hurried out the door.

Caitlyn and her friends gathered around their usual table, eyeing up their prospective male targets for the night. While Caitlyn sipped on her drink, she made eye contact with a tall, muscular, blue eyed, dark haired man. She smiled flirtatiously, and then quickly looked away and nudged her friend McKenna. “Is he headed over here?” she asked. “No, not yet.” whispered McKenna. Giggling, Caitlyn sipped on her drink again and sneaked a peek back over to the blued eyed man. She saw that he was still starring at her and she pulled her long hair over her left shoulder, exposing her slim, bare, tan back and giving a peek of her dolphins and hibiscus tramp stamp. Caitlyn nudged McKenna once more, “How about now?” she asked. “Nope, but I think he is interested,” McKenna replied. Caitlyn glanced over her shoulder just in time to see a short, plump red headed woman walk up to the blue eyed man and for the blue eyed man to wrap his arms around the woman and plant a sickening sweet, deep kiss on her lips. The red headed woman pulled away and beamed up at the blue eyed man, a shiny diamond gleaming on her left ring finger. She wrapped an arm around his waist and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, they both headed towards the exit. Just before the blue eyed man walked out the door, he looked at Caitlyn with longing and then followed his fiancé. “Damn” muttered Caitlyn.

Both Caitlyn and McKenna struck out with the men they had been eye balling, while the rest of their friends walked out hanging all over the drunken men they had chosen for the night. “Hey, did you want to hit the diner before heading home?” asked McKenna. “Nahhhh, I am going to head home, I am beat!” replied Caitlyn.

Once she arrived home she headed straight to the beach, stopping momentarily to slip off her thinly strapped high heels. She placed the heels on her deck, and buried her feet into the now soft, warm sand. The waves were now gently lapping at the shore line, with the moonlight casting a soft light on the beach. Caitlyn slowly made her way to the water’s edge and starred out into the vast ocean. A gentle breeze blew causing her to shiver. Two strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind, “You might be warmer if you actually wore real clothes,” said the owner of the arms. Caitlyn turned around within the circle the arms created “I’d rather tease and tempt you Aden, then be warm,” she said warmly, looking up at the blue eyed man. He leaned in to kiss her. Caitlyn pulled away. “So that was her?” she asked. “Yes, that was Melinda,” replied Aden, as he stepped forward and pulled Caitlyn close again. He attempted to kiss her once more, Caitlyn pulled away again putting more space between her and Aden. “You’re engaged now?” she accused. “Yes,” Aden sighed starring out into the ocean. “I wish you would have warned me,” sniffed Caitlyn, tears welling up in her eyes. “I guess this is goodbye then,” she said softly as she kissed him on the cheek, and slowly walked away, shoulders slumped and tears streaming down her cheeks. Aden watched her walk away but did not chase after her. He followed the water’s edge back to where he parked his car and drove away.


So be as harsh or as gentle as you would like...I will take any criticism into consideration!